Cold winds

Why does the weather have such an impact on our mood? When it’s sunny and warm outside I have endless motivation and can take on the world. When the sky is grey I want my bed, movies and tea. When the wind blows the cold towards me I don’t want to do anything, I even have a hard time communicating with others. The slightest change of weather and I’ve lost al motivation. I struggle to wake up. I struggle to get out of bed. I haven’t done anything. I’m a potato. I wake up exhausted and go to sleep tired. What does this mean? As the wind howls outside I just sit here and stare blankly at my cup of coffee I’ve barley touched wondering what is happening to me. What have I become. Why this this happening? How do I find the motivation to change back into what I worked for. How can I become the best version of myself when all I want is sleep and peace.

Soulmate(s)

How do you know if you’ve met your soulmate? How do you know that this is “the one”?

I believe you have numerous soulmates and that everyone that walks into your life for a reason, a purpose and a lesson.

Some good, some bad.

How does love get stale? How come it’s so easy to just give up and pull out instead of fighting for what you want. Maybe because I have no idea what I want anymore.

I thought I had everything I’ve ever wanted, but now the picture is blurry. I can’t see straight. Am I at another fork in the road? So many directions I don’t know where to go. Left, right, straight. Everything I’ve worked for the past year do I throw away for something new? Will I always be questioning the “what if’s” instead of living by that everything happens for a reason.

For the first time in a long time, I just don’t know what I want.

Change

I always think you should embrace the change, let change happen, change is a good thing.

However change in routine is taking a lot out of me. I feel so unorganised. I feel lost. Tired, my eating habits are out of wack. I liked my routine. I was happy with how I’ve organised my days. Now I don’t even know where to start. I’ll just take another nap.

Goodbye 2017.

Here we are, at the end of another book. The book of 365 pages with twelve different chapters.

Whatever made you happy, or angry, sad, got you to this moment right now. Congratulations we/you did it.

Take a moment to look back on everything that happened in the past year. All the great times and bad times have helped you and challenged you. Shaped you into the person you are right now at this time.

Isn’t it so funny looking back to the beginning of January at the start of this year how so many things have changed. How you have changed and grown.

Now were here ready to kick off another brand new year. We as the writer in our 2018 life novel have the options to do whatever we want and be whoever we want. Take as many chances, book the trip you want, live your dreams. Set goals and crush them. You are your boss. Embrace the new beginnings. Be happy. Spread love and joy into this world.

Happy 2018.

Suffocating

In an over crowded house where there is no silence. I still feel alone. I feel like I’m drowning in a pool of people yet I can’t scream for help.

The pain in my chest gets heavier everyday.

Have I reached my breaking point? Have I already broke and am just drifting on through the days? Feeling nothing at all.

What is going on? Who have I become? Sharp pain of anger, annoyance and hatred. I want nothing. I want to do nothing. Leave me here, alone.

I’m gone.

5 in the morning.

📸: Myself

There is something so comforting about the air at sunrise. There is nobody around you, the day has just begun and the vibes outside are peaceful. Another new day is beginning. Take a moment. Breathe. Absorb. Be grateful. Despite anything that has happened the day before, the week before let it all go and rise again. Just like the sun.

When it feels like the rest of the world is sleeping and you’re the only one awake, peace and calming. The colours, the ocean it’s the tiniest thing in life and can make such an impact on your day.